Jasmine Hart

Hi, I really enjoyed this.I love how the tone changes in the fourth line. I think "warmed" sounds odd, maybe just try "hot." I'd put a comma before "How" as ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. The emotion is conveyed very effectively here. I'd change "got" to "have", and add full-stops. I find it helps if ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. I love how "I am annoyed" gradually builds up to "I am quite angry." I love; "My cat recognizes him," "He pauses, frowns at a ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I really like the fragmented beginning. The poem flows very well as a whole. I'd change "edge" and "You drive ...

Hi Stella, This is a lovely piece. It flows well and is very effective. I like the snatch of dialogue. I think that the others have caught the few little ...

Hi, I really love this, especially the ending. It flows well and the rhyme is very effective and never forced. I'd change; "How was it able to carry you? Your ...

Hi, I really enjoyed this. I feel that the first two words were a little bland.I'd try something more descriptive/specific. I know "into" is to fit the meter, but I ...

Write every day Fill a notebook a month Submit a piece to magazine/competition every month

I'd love one on this very short story in "other fiction" if you get a chance; Also if you have any poetry you'd like critiqued I'd be more than happy ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. Your imagery is beautiful. I really loved; "Listening to my insides fight A cacoon that slowly collapses Leaving me little ...

Hi, Welcome to YWS! I hope you like it here. I think this flows smoothly and is easy to read. You stick to the strict rhyming scheme very well and ...

Hi, I think this works very well as an "I Am" poem. I think it gives a good sense of the different fragments that make up the speaker, and I ...

Hi, Congrats on your first poem! I really enjoyed it and hope to read more of you. The first line is really gripping and really draws the reader in. I'd ...

Hi, I think that the rhyming scheme works really well. I think that the first stanza is a bit weak.I'd cut "reminds me of you" "feel in our bones, we ...

I had to write a piece which did not exceed 500 words, so that's why this is so short! I have talked to science students, and still am not sure ...